Are You a Childless Woman Who Complains About Mother’s Day? Please Reconsider!

This year, social media platforms such as Facebook have hosted a groundswell of complaints regarding Mother’s Day. Most of the hard feelings, it seems, come from good Christian women who, for one reason or another, do not have children of their own. Perhaps they are struggling with infertility; or they regret their abortion; or they have never married; or they’ve lost a son or daughter in childbirth or early in childhood.

What these women have in common, though, is their expressed discomfort with the idea of celebrating Mother’s Day in any big way. Ask mothers to stand during Mass for a special blessing? They feel like sobbing in the pew. Send flowers, talk about motherhood on the radio, plan a special dinner with the family? The un-mothers are grieving in their aloneness.

While I sympathize with their eagerness to hold a newborn close to their chest, I urge these well-intentioned women to cease this emergent anti-Mother’s Day campaign, to rethink their perspective. If they don’t, they’ll join the ranks of other protestors who want to give a trophy to every kid in the Spelling Bee, to end every game in the t-ball league with a tie, to pay every employee the same wage despite their diverse contributions to their organization.

Holidays have specific purposes: Christmas celebrates the birth of Christ, and Muslims should not be offended if their spiritual leader is not feted on that day. Father’s Day honors men who are fathers, and who have sacrificed income and leisure time to share parenting responsibilities with their spouses.

And Mother’s Day? Sorry, but it’s intended as an opportunity to honor women who are mothers for the many contributions they’ve made: bearing morning sickness and backaches and the pains of labor, then sacrificing sleep to nurse a fussy child, then giving up a promising career to nurture the child God has given them or, if they choose to work or if they cannot afford the luxury of staying home, then handling a double-shift of office work plus parenting.

Our society has done so much to hurt mothers:  Implying that their work is somehow less important because they don’t draw a paycheck. Besmirching their mommy jeans or their easy-care hairdos. De-valuing the critically important work they do to raise the next generation of upright citizens. Please don’t, by your resentment and your insistence on sharing in the glory of the day, take away from the credit due to women who have endured both the joys and the hardships of motherhood. Don’t make this weekend about you.

And please don’t worry that because God hasn’t blessed you with the gift of motherhood, your life doesn’t have value. You may have more time than a busy homemaker to reach out and help others. You can share your love with other people’s children – as an aunt, a sister, a caring neighbor. You can pray that God will grant your wish for a child of your womb; but if that’s not His will for you, the best thing you can do is discern what IS your calling, then live it joyfully.

And please don’t, by your attitude or your bitter self-focus, take away from the one-day celebration of mothers, whose job is often thankless, yet critically important to the future of society and the salvation of souls. Share in their joy, share in the celebration, share in the community’s prayer that God will bless them as they seek to raise children for His glory. Share the work, and help their children to learn respect and love and to make cut-out hearts for mom.

Make it a great day, even if you’re not a mother.

By | 2018-05-12T03:27:21+00:00 May 12th, 2018|Family|

8 Comments

  1. Carla May 14, 2018 at 6:19 am - Reply

    I’ve been trying to decide whether or not to comment. I was one of the women left sitting in the pew while the mothers all stood and got a special blessing. Yes, it’s a little awkward, since everyone wants to be part of the “in crowd” (which today was mothers). But I get that same awkward feeling when they ask the military, police, or other first responders to stand, because I’m not part of that crowd either. When they ask people who have been married for over 40 yrs to stand, THEN I can stand up! I agree with Kathy, God Bless mothers for being mothers, especially today.

  2. Manny May 14, 2018 at 1:52 am - Reply

    Well said Kathy. Happy Mother’s Day!

  3. heather dubrow instagram May 13, 2018 at 9:10 am - Reply

    God bless everyone mother. mother is a precious gift.

  4. Jemimah May 13, 2018 at 8:54 am - Reply

    I think that when Mom’s are honored by standing up in church for a special blessing is fine; except for those women who are left seated. It’s hurtful, not because they lack children but because they are ‘exposed’ for having failed in procreating. I have never observed any seated woman sobbing. And no, that doesn’t mean they would be in favor of a trophy for every child in a spelling bee. How did that comment even get into this article? Thoughtless.

  5. Xavier May 13, 2018 at 2:29 am - Reply

    It must be mentioned, motherhood is a blessing and gift, not a right. Infertility too is a special blessing, because he or she is taking the cross of Jesus Christ. Take the cross for Christ, as there were not many with Him when He carried the cross. When my wife and I took a class on infertility in our church, we made this point very clear – your life’s primary purpose is to be with Christ and receive whatever He wishes of you.

  6. Micah Rudd May 12, 2018 at 11:11 pm - Reply

    God bless all mothers and the Church!

  7. nora May 12, 2018 at 10:34 pm - Reply

    whew this is condescending as ever

  8. […] sum up the piece, which can be found here, the author exhorts “well intentioned” and “good Christian women” who are “un-mothers” […]

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